Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Battling It Out, Hero's Journey Style: October 27, 2015

Focus: How does synthesizing two texts create a larger, more complex meaning?

1. Warming up with a little battle royale: Amir vs. _______?

Click HERE if you'd prefer to type.

2. Organizing and narrowing down your big, messy thoughts as you synthesize two heroes' journeys

Click HERE for the overview of the short synthesis essay and the step-by-step thesis process.

3. Composing your thesis statement and posting it on today's blog


HW:
1. Finish what you didn't finish in class; make sure that thesis gets posted on the blog, and check there for feedback from me. You will receive an attempt & completion grade for the thesis, but the most important part is the feedback.

2. Keep bringing your Kite Runner books and annotations to class.

3. I strongly suggest finishing your speech at least three days before you present. 

109 comments:

  1. Nemo from Finding Nemo and Amir from Khaled Hosseini’s The Kite Runner are not so different in the way they assess and complete their road of trials without backing down.

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    1. I like the part about not backing down from the road of trials. My one suggestion is to rephrase the "are not so different" part; perhaps use that space to make a more powerful, positive statement about what it takes to be a hero.

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  2. Luke Skywalker from Star Wars demonstrates remarkable heroism compared to Amir from Khaled Hosseini’s The Kite Runner because Luke was able to overcome his brother battle against Vader in a short amount of time while it took Amir 26 years to begin to overcome his.

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    1. I like your specificity! My suggestion is to shift your verbs into the present tense, so "is" instead of "was" and "takes" instead of "took." If you include Vader in your thesis, you might also include what/whom Amir's battle is with.

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  3. Luke Skywalker from Star Wars presents a superior call to the adventure over Amir from Khale Hosseini’s The Kite Runner because he has more to prove in returning his father from the dark side than Amir.

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    1. Powerful thesis! Two minor suggestions: (1) reconsider the verb "presents." Maybe switch out with "answers"? (2) Perhaps remove "his father" from your thesis and just focus on returning from the dark side.

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  4. In the Dark Knight Rises, Batman portrays superior ability to fight his Dragon Battle than Amir from the Kite Runner because Batman doesn’t use the help of others to win like Amir does.

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    1. Great thesis! My one big suggestion is to include somewhere in here "hero" or "heroism" since that's an important part of what you're trying to prove. One little thing: See if "the" is part of the title (I honestly don't know) of the film. If so, capitalize the "T" (and do the same for "the" in "The Kite Runner").

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  5. Batman from Batman Begins is a greater heroic figure than Amir from Khaled Hosseini’s The Kite Runner, because Batman chooses to use his parents death to become Batman, while Amir ignores this death to be his call to adventure.

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    1. Unique and compelling thesis. My only suggestions are grammatical: take out the comma between "The Kite Runner" and "because," and put a possessive apostrophe after the "s" in "parents." Otherwise very cool.

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  6. Tony Stark from Iron Man and Amir from Khaled Hosseini’s The Kite Runner really show the contrast between an actual hero like Tony, and some guilt-stricken person pretending to be a hero like Amir, through the conflict they both experience when they cross the threshold.

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    1. Excellent start! A tiny suggestion: delete "really." After you write your paragraph, we may be able to specify the conflict you mention near the end of your thesis. For now, let's leave it as it is to keep your thesis from getting too long.

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  7. Nemo from Finding Nemo shows better perseverance then Amir from Khaled Hosseini’s The Kite Runner possess that he won’t ever give up when things get tough, Nemo does a much better job at crossing the threshold than Amir.

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    1. Strong ideas! To improve your clarity, I have a few suggestions: I think you can delete "possess that he won't ever give up when things get tough" and replace with "as" or "because." Perseverance already implies not giving up when things get tough, so you probably don't need to state it in your thesis.

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  8. Batman from Batman Begins portrays a superior hero than Amir from Khaled Hosseini's The Kite Runner because the death of his parents made a more defined impact on his foreseeable future; Batman takes action sooner and makes it his goal to help others, unlike Amir, who does it for himself.

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    1. I love how specific and unique this is. To improve clarity/wording, I have two minor suggestions. First, when you say "the death of his parents," change "his" to "Batman's" to clarify which character you're talking about. Second, change "made" to "makes" to keep the whole thing in the present tense. Good work!

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  9. Amir from Khaled Hosseini’s The Kite Runner and Simba from Don Hahn’s The Lion King both acquire the strength, heroism, and courage to face the brother battle while also battling different emotions.

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    1. Many wonderful ideas here. I have one idea for a slight rephrasing that I think will give it more impact/analysis: could you turn your ideas into a definition of what it takes to be a hero? For example, you could keep the first part of your thesis as is, then where you say "both acquire...", you could say instead "both reveal that a true hero needs strength, heroism , and courage to face the brother battle while also battling different emotions." It's a small change, but it gives you more to prove in your paragraph.

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  10. Harry, from the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling exhibits greater courage and heroism than Amir from Khaled Hosseini’s The Kite Runner because Harry willingly takes guidance from his elders and is eager to learn, whereas Amir grudgingly listens to his mentors without taking anything to heart.

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    1. Love it, especially the use of specific, strong words like "willingly" and "grudgingly." Don't change it.

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  11. Eragon in The Forgotten by Chris Glance and Amir from Khaled Hosseini’s The Kite Runner poses a near death experience, on one hand Eragon is tortured by a madman and on the other Amir is brutally beaten by Assef.

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    1. Good start! In the second half of your thesis, try to focus on what they gain from this near-death experience rather than what the near-death experience is. What do they learn, and how does it make them heroes?

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  12. Katniss from The Hunger Games is a greater hero than Amir from The Kite Runner because Katniss courageously accepts her call to adventure and Amir has to persuade himself to accept his call to adventure.

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    1. Very clear, concise, and specific. I would play around with the phrasing a bit so that you don't repeat the phrase "accept his/her call to adventure."

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  13. Tris, from Veronica Roth's Divergent and Amir From Khaled Hosseini’s The Kite Runner, display equivalent heroic traits while travelling through their hero’s journey by manifesting fearless strength after overcoming a near-death experience.

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    1. Fantastic! Specific and well-synthesized. My only suggestion is to shorten it a bit by deleting the phrase "while travelling through their hero's journey."

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  14. When Amir from Khaled Hosseini’s The Kite Runner and Katniss Everdeen from The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins begin their adventures it becomes clear that Katniss is a superior hero because she allows her emotions to drive her, well Amir’s feelings get in his way.

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    1. Awesome thesis! Specific yet concise. You just have one typo: "well" instead of "while."

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  15. Katniss Everdeen from Suzanne Collin’s The Hunger Games possesses greater heroism than Amir does from Khaled Hosseini’s The Kite Runner because, Katniss volunteers immediately, where Amir hesitates when he is called to adventure.

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    1. Excellent! Makes a judgment and backs it up. One tiny grammar thing: remove the comma after "because."

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  16. Michael Scofield in Prison Break displays admirable intrepidity than Amir from Khaled Hosseini’s Kite Runner because, Michael is more brave and smart from the beginning while Amir slowly cowards his way into his call to adventure.

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    1. Strong, unique ideas here. Just a few phrasing things: "displays intrepidity than" doesn't quite work...maybe you could say his intrepidity is more admirable than Amir's? In the last clause, I'm not sure "cowards" can be a verb, though I do kind of like the sound of it.

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  17. Simba from Don Hahn’s The Lion King and Amir from Khaled Hosseini’s The Kite Runner both accept their call to adventure. Both of them could stayed on their own path kept doing what they were doing but they saw a chance to make things better and they took it.

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    1. Great ideas here. To keep it to one sentence, replace the period with a semicolon (;). In the last part of your thesis, keep your verbs in the present tense ("stay" instead of "stayed," etc.).

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  18. Amir from The Kite Runner fails to be a true hero like Bruce from Batman Begins because Bruce rose from the things that made him fall, unlike some tragic events that happened in Amir’s life that eventually made him able to live with himself and his mistakes.

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    1. Fantastic comparison! A few little things: keep verbs in the present tense, so "rise" instead of "rose," "happen" instead of "happened," "make" instead of "made." To keep it shorter, perhaps remove "and his mistakes" at the very end. Good work.

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  19. Batman from Batman Begins and Amir from The Kite Runner both demonstrate Heroism in an equal manner because in each of the story the main character whether it be Amir or Batman suffer a traumatic experience where their parents die; if it wasn’t for these deaths neither character would be motivated by the guilt they feel to go on the hero’s journey.

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    1. Specific, powerful ideas. To make it more concise, I have a couple of suggestion. First, delete "of the" so it reads "in each story." Next, delete "whether it be Amir or Batman" and change the verb to "suffers." Lastly, tighten up the final clause by using "guilt" as the subject and following it with a strong verb. For ex, you could write "the guilt that spurs them into the hero's journey."

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  20. Amir from Khaled Hosseini’s The Kite Runner and Simba from Don Hahn’s The Lion King both dwell on their past after loosing their parents.

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    1. I like the cause and effect structure of losing parents and dwelling on the past. My big suggestion is to add to this statement to show how they become heroes. You could change your period to a semicolon (;), add a "however," and then make a statement about what heroic qualities they gain from this loss.

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  21. Amir from the Kite Runner and Spider Man from The Amazing Spider Man are alike because in each story, someone that the main character is attached to, leaves them by dying or abandoning their life; if this had not happened the characters would not be motivated to go on the hero's journey.

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    1. Great start! I have just a few suggestions for making the first part more concise and the second part more specific. In the first part, perhaps change "their life" to "them." In the second half of your thesis, try to make a statement about why the loss motivates them to become heroes. Guilt? Revenge? Redemption? Something else?

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  22. Ariel from Disney’s The Little Mermaid and Amir from Khaled Hosseini’s The Kite Runner both display disobedience by rejecting their call. Ariel allows her sense of adventure to drive her into a bad situation , while Amir let’s his self pride get in the way of what is right and wrong.

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    1. Hey Angie--since we just talked about your new thesis statement in class, I won't bother you with feedback on this older version. This one was good, too, but your new one is even more specific and concise.

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  24. William Wallace from the movie Braveheart is a superior hero than Amir from Khaled Hosseini's The Kite Runner because William accepts his call to adventure with bravery and determination while Amir can barely bring himself to face his call.

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    1. The second half of your thesis is excellent--specific, analytical, and well phrased. The first half is also strong, but change "than" to "to," (William is a superior hero to Amir).

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  25. Superman from Jerry Siegel’s Man of Steel and Amir from Khaled Hosseini’s The Kite Runner obtain similar traits because Superman and Amir receive and accepts their own call to adventure.

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    1. Great start! A little grammar suggestion: change "accepts" to "accept," and change "call" to "calls" since they each have their own call to adventure. Lastly, try to build on this thesis a bit by making a statement about why accepting the call to adventure makes them heroes. Does it show courage? Selflessness? Something else?

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  26. Batman from Nolan’s The Dark Knight displays more valuable heroism than Amir does from Khaled Hosseini’s The Kite Runner because Batman puts up a fight against his enemy unlike Amir

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    1. Looks great so far! I think you can make the first part even more assertive in defining heroism if you switch out "valuable" to an adjective that's more specific to these particular heroes. For example, if your argument centers on who puts up more of a fight, you might write, "...displays more aggressive heroism," or "more physically dominant heroism," or "more fearless heroism."

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  27. In both Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini and The Amazing Spider Man directed by Mark Webb the main character becomes a hero because they are confronted by someone they are close to almost dying, causing them to come up with a way to save them, and in the process they make a promise.

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    1. I like your unique focus and your specificity. To get it more concise, I think you could combine your last two clauses. For example, you could write something like, "when they are confronted by the near-death of someone they are close to, they must make a heroic promise to save them." You don't need to use that exact phrasing--just trying to illustrate what I'm saying.

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  28. Iron Man from Jon Favreau's Iron Man does more with his parents' death more than Amir from Khalid Hosseini's The Kite Runner because Iron turns his parents' death and his father's company turns it around, he also saved himself from an event and made tat benefit him and others around him.

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    1. Many excellent ideas here. My big suggestion is to make this more concise. Here's one way to do this: in the second half, you could write something like, "...because Iron turns uses his parents' death to save himself and others, while Amir..." (think about how Amir fails to do this).

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  29. Tris from Divergent demonstrates the act of heroism over Amir from Khaled Hosseini's The Kite Runner by expressing her true bravery and gallantry during the call of her adventure whereas Amir had to comply with Rahim Khan’s persuasion of his call to adventure instead.

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    1. I really like the contrast you've identified here. My only suggestion is to tighten up the very last part, perhaps by leaving out Rahim Khan and instead saying something like, "...whereas Amir has to be persuaded to accepted his call to adventure."

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  30. Amir demonstrates the act of heroism of the avengers from Khaled hosseini's "Kite Runner" by expressing the crossing of the threshold of Amir from one world to the other. I don't see the act of Heroism as much in the avengers compared to Amir.

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    1. Good ideas here. Let's try to get them into one sentence. If Amir's crossing of the threshold shows more heroism than that of the Avengers, try to state why. For example, "Amir in Khalen Hosseini's The Kite Runner shows more heroism than The Avengers do because Amir's crossing of the threshold shows his willingness to risk his own life for the sake of someone else's.

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  31. Bruce Wayne from Batman Begins takes stronger influence from his mentor Alfred than Amir from Hosseini’s The Kite Runner takes from his mentor Rahim Khan because he shows a more secure bond with him, shares more information with him, and takes more of his advice.

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    1. Awesome ideas--very specific exploration of the mentors' influence. To get nit picky, let's work on word choices. You use "takes" a few times, so perhaps replace some of those. For ex, in your first clause, you could say the Bruce Wayne from Batman Begins "accepts/receives/benefits from/grows from..." (just pick one, obviously). In the last part, just specify which "he" you're talking about.

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  32. Bruce Wayne in the Batman series demonstrates a greater call to adventure because Bruce loses everything after his parents are murdered and seeks revenge by joining the league of shadows, trying to kill the man who murdered his parents, and becomes batman to help out the city.

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    1. Very specific, and important ideas. My big suggestion is to make Amir and The Kite Runner more of a part of this. Throw him into those clauses (Bruce Wayne demonstrates a greater call to adventure than Amir does...). To make space for Amir, you can take some of the details about Batman (for ex, you could eliminate the part about joining the league of shadows to try to kill the man who murdered his parents). Instead, just focus on the main idea, which is revenge. You can save the rest to build up to your quotations/examples.

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  33. Amir from Khaled hosseini’s The Kite Runner and Luke from George lucas’s Star wars Possess comparable heroic traits: both characters face a difficult battles which they almost die but come back stronger.

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    1. Strong connections! My suggestions are little: make sure you capitalize proper nouns but not other nouns, replace the colon with a semicolon (;), and insert the word "in" between "battles" and "which."

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  34. Katniss from Gary Ross’s The Hunger Games responds to the call to adventure a lot better than Amir from Khaled Hosseini’s The Kite Runner, because she doesn’t hesitate to the call for adventure unlike Amir.

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    1. Specific and clear! My only suggestion is to strengthen your word choice when you say "a lot better." Think about what makes her response a lot better...for example, you could say that she responds to the call to adventure "more decisively" or "more fearlessly."

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  35. Nemo, from the movie Finding Nemo, learns more from his mentors than Amir from The Kite Runner because Nemo's mentors in the fish tank have gone through the same problem as him, and he has more opinions, whereas Amir only has a few.

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    1. Excellent ideas! My only qualm is that you're kind of making two arguments about mentors (going through the same stuff, having more opinions), but since you're only writing one paragraph, you might want to narrow this down to one. I think the point about the mentors going through the same problem as Nemo is really unique and probably your stronger point. That's a cool contrast to Amir's mentors, who probably don't fully understand what he's going through.

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  36. Peter Parker, from the motion picture Spiderman, suffers and learns more from the loss of his parents than Amir in "The Kite Runner" because Peter Parker becomes spiderman as a result of their death while Amir only moves on throughout his life.

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    1. Great start! Two things: specify which Spiderman movies/series you're referring to (think about which clip you're probably going to use in your paragraph). I like the idea that the suffering is related to the learning. In your final clause, can you specify what about their deaths makes him become Spiderman? Is it a desire for revenge, for example, that Amir is lacking?

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  37. Marlin from Nemo displays major heroism compared to Amir from Khaled Hosseini’s The Kite Runner because Marlin was able to beat or pass all of his trials he faced to save Nemo.

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    1. Good point! My big suggestion is to bring Amir back into the second part of your thesis (does he fail most of his trials?). You can do this by deleting the period at the end and inserting "while..."

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  38. Serena VanDer Woodson from the movie Gossip Girl displays similarities and diffrerences to Amir by expressing the road of trials that the two characters go through, and how they improve their lives from their past's.

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    1. I'm not sure why Gossip Girl always finds her way into my all-boys class, but she always does. :) I like the ideas here. To get it even more specific, try deleting "similarities and differences" and make a statement about what it takes to be a hero. In the last part of your thesis, just connect the road of trials more explicitly to what they gain. For ex, "the road of trials the two characters go through force them to recover lost aspects of their pasts."

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  40. Amir in Khaled Hosseini’s The Kite Runner does not come as a great hero because a real hero never runs away from the trails that they must overcome such as batman he must be able to pass through all the trials everytime even when they are harder than last he doesn’t run away.

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    1. I really love how you're making a bigger statement about what a real hero is and does. A few little things: check your spelling of "trials," capitalize Batman and specify which Batman movie you're referring to. Try to get this more concise by using a structure like this: after you say "a real hero never runs away from his trials," insert a semicolon (;). Then state something like, "While Batman refuses to run away from his trials, Amir..."

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  41. Amir in Khaled Hosseini's Kite Runner Does not commit to the call of adventure right away, he first must be persuaded. While once Spongebob realizes he must go to shell city he immediately takes off on his adventure.

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    1. Great start! Somewhere in here, try to make a larger statement about it takes to be a strong hero (for your paragraph, you'd want to assert that a true hero must commit to the call to adventure). Next, try to make this one sentence instead of two, which you can do by just deleting the period.

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  42. Marlin from Finding Nemo shows great heroism compared to Amir from Khaled Hosseini's The Kite Runner because Marlin was able to pass his trials and save Nemo.

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    1. Good comparison. In the last part of your thesis, try to bring Amir back in (just delete period, add a conjunction like "while," and state how Amir fails to pass to trials). Also, keep your verbs in the present tense, so "is able" instead of "was able."

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  43. Frodo Baggins from Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings battles his guilty obsession with the Ring in a way similar to the way Amir battles his childhood guilt in Khaled Hosseini's The Kite Runner.

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    1. Ooh...I really like this. Specific and original. My one suggestion is to make a bigger statement about what it takes to be a hero. You could do this by adding onto the end (something like, "both showing that perseverance in battle defines a true hero").

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  44. Batman from Batman Begins displays superior heroism than Amir because Batman answered his call to action right away and was waiting for the moment he could get revenge unlike how Amir had put it off for so long.

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    1. Strong contrast! A few little things: replace "than" with "to," and keep your verbs in the present tense ("answers" instead of "answered," "is" instead of "was," and "can" instead of "could." Lastly, try to get your verbs more concise ("waits" instead of "was waiting," perhaps "delays" instead of "had put it off.")

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  45. James Sullivan from Monsters Inc and Amir from Khaled Hosseini's The Kite Runner are similar hero's when comparing the two’s Brother Battle, despite them handling their given situation differently.

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    1. Good start (and I love Monsters, Inc.) I'm glad that you're exploring the Brother Battle. Try to get more specific here by identifying what their Brother Battles have in common (how are they similar?).

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  47. Amir from Khaled Hosseini’s The Kite Runner is very similar to Katniss in Hunger Games because they both cross the threshold in the same way.

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    1. Solid start. Your challenge is to get this more specific. In other words, how do they cross the threshold in the same way, and what does this suggest about what it takes to be a true hero? What heroic qualities do they reveal about themselves in crossing the threshold?

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  48. Gordon Freeman from Valve’s Half-Life Series shows qualities of being a better hero in the road of trials than Amir from The Kite Runner because he gets through emotionally and physically taxing trials while Amir mainly battles himself emotionally.

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    1. I like the focus on external vs. internal conflicts here. To make the wording just a little clearer, try moving the phrase "in the road of trials" to the very beginning of the sentence. Then replace your first "he" with "Gordon." Great start!

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  49. Bruce Wayne from Batman Begins reacts a lot differently to the death of his parents than Amir from the Kite Runner because Bruce used it as inspiration to become Batman while Amir didn't change his lifestyle at all.

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    1. I really like the specific connections and contrasts you're making here. A few small suggestions: replace "a lot" with something stronger ("vastly," maybe"); keep all verbs in the present tense ("uses" instead of "used," for ex)); instead of "didn't change," try a stronger verb, such as "refuses to."

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  50. Simba from The Lion King proves to have a better return home than Amir from Khaled Hosseini’s The Kite Runner, because Simba becomes a king, has a family and saves his whole kingdom, while Amir gains a son, but only his son.

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    1. I like the unique, compelling approach here--very focused. My one suggestion is to include something in here about heroism/the hero's journey. For example, are you arguing that a true hero changes an entire community, not just the life of one person?

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  51. Amir from Khaled Hosseini's The Kite Runner doesn't portray heroic characteristics compared to Harry Potter because Amir confronts guilt by giving up. However, Harry Potter copes with his guilt by correcting his past mistakes.

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    1. Strong, specific contrast! Two suggestions: (1) clarify which step of the hero's journey you're referring to (crossing the threshold? Answering the call?), and (2) try to make this one sentence instead of two. A really easy fix would be to replace the period with a semicolon (;).

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  52. In Khaled Hosseini’s The Kite Runner, Amir does not portray a hero like Simba does in Don Hahn’s The Lion King. Simba answers the call to adventure after his father had passed when he was little because he was told that he was still alive, while Amir takes a long time to actually get started on his journey and he did it for himself.

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    1. Great ideas! Your challenge here is to get this more concise by taking out some extra words and phrases and keeping it to one sentence. For ex, instead of "does not portray a hero like Simba does," you could say something like, "Amir is a lesser hero than Simba..." When you explain when Simba answers the call to adventure, try taking out the plot and instead focusing on what quality of Simba it reveals. For ex, "Simba answers the call to adventure out of hope, while Amir answers the call out of selfishness."

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  54. Ralph from the movie Wreck it Ralph shows crossing the threshold much more than Amir from The Kite Runner because Ralph not only has to save the arcade, but he has to save himself from the loneliness of being a villain.

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    1. I love the idea of a hero saving himself from being a villain...very important. After "Amir" in your thesis, include the word "does." At the end of your thesis, try to come back to Amir. Ex: ..."he has to save himself from the loneliness of being a villain, while Amir..."

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  56. Woody from John Lasseter’s screenplay, Toy Story, and Amir from Khaled Hosseini’s novel, Kite Runner, both accept their call to adventure after they sensed an opportunity to become tranquil and soon thereafter capitalized on it.

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    1. Sophisticated, concise thesis. My only suggestion is to keep your verbs in the present tense, so "sense" instead of "sensed," and "capitalize" instead of "capitalized."

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  57. Forcing evil upon Amir, from Kite Runner, and Kenai, from Brother Bear, to lead them to accepting the call to adventure, they are pushed to move on from the clawing past onto bigger and better things.

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    1. Many powerful phrases and ideas here. To get it a bit clearer, clarify what is forcing evil upon these characters. Or just take out the word "forcing." For ex, you could write, "Evil leads Amir from The Kite Runner and Kenai from Brother Bear to accept the call to adventure, pushing them out of their clawing pasts and onto more significant tasks" (I nit picked on the words "bigger" and "things," too).

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